Be The Light

Despite the hopefulness that comes with any New Year, January in the upper Midwest is typically characterized by a desolate and frigid landscape. A fresh snowfall offers a glittering reprieve from the bleakness of the season, but much of the month is blanketed in darkness. The dull gray of a cloudy day is often exacerbated by an early sundown, leading to long and gloomy evenings. For those in grief, all these factors may enhance the inner dullness that loss brings. Arriving on the heels of a holiday season in which mourners may struggle to find their way amidst the merriment, those in grief may be especially struck by a literal and figurative twilight. 

Personally, I have experienced how the pain of grief can be amplified by the lifelessness of one’s environment. Since my husband died in the late summer during the height of the pandemic, I dreaded the coming cold and isolation of winter. Anxiously anticipating how I would manage during that most secluded time, I ordered myself a light therapy box to mimic nature’s sunlight. Despite the reality outside, I hoped this tool would help stave off any added melancholy. Though I never even took the device out of its box, I found comfort in knowing it was there if and when I needed it.

Five years out from my loss, I no longer dread the way winter can add to an inner desolation. In fact, as I have found a sense of peace and healing, I have learned that I can be the light for others who are dealing with their darkest hour. Knowing that those in grief may need extra care and attention at this time of year, I am especially gratified to provide support through volunteering at my local hospice’s bereavement department. Indeed, I have discovered that providing comfort to the heavy-hearted allows me to better cope with whatever wistfulness may arise for me. It feels especially poignant to know that helping others in their mourning is beneficial both for the giver and receiver of support. If you have found your own light as we enter this new year, I hope you will share it with others and help illuminate the path forward for those who follow.