Musings

This month, our country celebrates its semiquincentennial, marking the 250th Anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. While this milestone honors our country, there are many sober parts of United States history and present day life which belie the celebratory atmosphere. America deserves great credit for many things, especially for establishing a democratic republic with ideals of justice, liberty, and equality for all. Still, whether we are acknowledgin

My late husband Brad would have turned 55 this month. Though it has been five years since he died, part of me still wants to push away the thought that he is gone. When I allow myself to fully comprehend his absence, I am flooded with a depth of sadness that is hard to put into words. At these times, I realize how much he has missed since his untimely death and my heart aches. I am grateful not to live in a constant state of pain and know that my self-protective instincts sto

In late March, as Winter tentatively tip-toed into Spring, I found my own new beginning. Before graduating from my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training, I held my practicum. Though it seems obvious now, for some reason I did not immediately recognize the circularity of the circumstance. Still, about 48 hours before my teach-out, I had an epiphany. Though I had been attending classes at my yoga studio's current location for quite some time, it suddenly dawned on me that the place wh

As I sit inside watching raindrops steadily fall on my deck, the adage “April showers bring May flowers” crosses my mind on repeat. Though spring rains may feel like a soggy inconvenience, this saying helps us tolerate dreary days while waiting for the reward of beautiful blooms. It also occurs to me that this idea is a good metaphor for coping with grief. We know that water is a source of growth, providing conditions where flowers can bloom. In the same vein, the symbolism a

“It won’t always feel like this” my younger daughter said to me after her father's unexpected death in August 2020. Though only eleven at the time, she somehow knew that our grief would shift and morph in the following years. Working through her own dense array of feelings in high school, my daughter also discovered a book which offers profound insight on loss and its life-altering sequelae: The Dark Interval - Letters on Loss, Grief and Transformation . A collection of corre

As we approach Valentine’s Day this year, the quote “Grief is just love with no place to go” - stated so eloquently by Jamie Anderson - has been on my mind. To me, it is a succinct and honest way of understanding the heartache of loss. When we lose a beloved person, we inevitably feel an emotional chasm and wonder if and how we can ever fill that void. Though our love for a specific person is never replaced or substituted, I believe that our pain may be assuaged through time