Noticing in the New Year

As the New Year is upon us, with all its hope and promise for renewal, we may feel an increased sense of pressure to do and be the best version of ourselves. While our society seems to demand a focus on self-improvement, particularly as we enter the New Year, this notion gives me pause. Given my own history as a perfectionist, I have at times found myself drawn into the hype over setting resolutions. Still, my way of looking at personal change and growth has evolved since I lost my husband four years ago. Part of the reason for this shift has to do with a newfound recognition about the degree of control we have over our future, as well as a greater sense of self-compassion.

Grief has a way of shifting our priorities and softening our sense of who we should be. Through loss, we start to realize both what matters most, but also the fact that we can only do so much to affect change. Over time, we may realize that transformation is not always possible in the way we imagined. And, when we choose to seek self-improvement, we may pursue it with a sense of greater ease as we embrace self-acceptance and find peace with who we are.

For everyone who is seeking to better themselves, but especially those in grief, I wonder if we would be best served by letting the New Year unfold. Perhaps we could try to be a bit less demanding of ourselves and give ourselves a more gentle start, being more intentional about our daily routine. This more humane approach is akin to the times in yoga when our teacher asks us to observe ourselves without judgment. In the wisdom of this ancient tradition, we are reminded that each day is different and that our bodies, minds, and spirits are not always capable of the same poses or introspection. Maybe we could embrace the turn of the year like we do a challenging yoga pose, seeing where our body takes us without forcing it and letting go of expectations. With this thought in mind, I plan to lean into the New Year with a loving and gentle approach for both myself and others. I hope you will consider joining me in greeting this time of renewal with a simple namaste.