The Freedom of Feeling Foolish

When we think of honoring our late loved ones, frivolity is usually not the first feeling that comes to mind. In early grief, we are often caught in a cycle of melancholy and despair. Even when we can find a brief reprieve from our suffering, the best we can hope for is often a state of dispassionate calm. Nevertheless, after the sudden loss of my husband, I soon realized that allowing myself to wallow in my pain not only brought on greater anguish for me and my family, but it also failed to honor the sort of person my late husband was. 

Brad’s chosen profession as a blood and cancer doctor meant his work exposed him to a constant stream of stress and sorrow, yet he was one of the most playful and funny people I ever met. Though these opposing facts may seem difficult to reconcile, I believe that Brad chose to embrace the joys and delights of life as a way to better cope with the hardship he confronted on a daily basis. After Brad died, many of his patients wrote to our family to share how much they appreciated his compassionate care, but they also shared how his funny stories and spirited demeanor uplifted them as they coped with the most distressing news.    

As we celebrate this All Fools’ Day, I am reminded of the simple pleasure Brad derived from telling a joke, playing a prank, or laughing at himself. Instead of viewing these pastimes as trivial and insignificant, I have learned the value of embracing our lives with a lighthearted and upbeat attitude. Aside from making every day a bit more enjoyable, this sort of disposition helps us cope with the most trying of times. Maintaining a sense of humor allows us to avoid taking ourselves, and our trials and tribulations, too seriously. For those who are in mourning, I hope that finding glimpses of levity may ease your burden and help you cope with your darkest days. In my case, each time I embrace the absurdity of life, I think of Brad and know that he would not only appreciate the levity, but he would also be laughing right along with me.